Watching the Process

Well things around here are continuing to get worse.  It’s hard to see it but mom may now be unable to get out of bed anymore.  It’s just getting too dangerous as she feels like her legs are not working and it’s really hard for her to support any of her weight.

It’s so hard when something goes wrong – you want to blame it on just “having a bad day” but then when so many bad days are happening you have to face the fact that things are actually getting worse and that this is part of the process.

Then there are other times when I just hate to see her going through this and I wish it would be over quickly – but then I hate myself for feeling that way.

It’s just so hard.

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